Dienstag, 27. November 2012

DANKE EUCH MONSTER!!!


Vielleicht ist es der hypnotisierende Effekt der Unmenge von Glitzer an den Wänden. Oder vielleicht die Verwirrung die daraus entsteht, wenn die Türe zu mehreren Boxen gleichzeitig offen stehen und dies zu einer wilden Orgie der Musik führt. Es könnte aber auch an der Verzauberung der Barpersonnal liegen (es passiert ja schließlich nicht jeden tag dass man in eine Kneipe reinkommt und so begrüßt wird: "Möchtest du singen?") Auf jeden Fall ist eins klar: Das Ronsons ist kein gewöhnlicher Ort (und das ist auch gut so!). Für den durchschnittlichen Ronsons-Neuling kann der erste Einstieg ins Raumschiff ganz schön verblüffend sein.

Zum Beispiel kamen neulich ein junges, holländisches Paar rein, guckten sich etwas misstrauisch um bevor sie zur Bar gingen, wo sie sich die Karte lange angeschaut haben. Nach einigen Minuten schaute der Typ nach oben und sah ein Plakat wo stand: MITTWOCHS: BOX HAPPY HOUR! Daraufhin verkündete er stolz:

"AH! IT'S HAPPY HOUR! SO WE GET FREE DRINKS!"

Der Barkeeper erklärte ihm: "No, it's happy hour for BOXES. You can sing in a box for half-price until 10pm."

Aber der Typ wurde immer mehr verwirrt. "BUT, DO WE GET TWO-FOR-ONE?"

"No, Tuesdays are two-for-one."

Das Paar hat sich eine Sekunde etwas verzweifelt angeschaut, bevor die Frau fragte: "Can we have a free beer?"

Der goldene Regel der Gastronomie lautet: Man verlangt nie was um sonst, denn dieses Verlangen wird sicherlich eine Garantie dafür, dass man genanntes Ding nicht bekommt. Anderseits, wenns soweit und angebracht ist, geben wir gerne einen aus.

Und: diesen Samstag (1.12) es ist soweit!! Und es ist auch sehr angebracht!! IHR SEID TOLL und im Namen des 8 JAHRE MONSTER RONSONS JUBILÄUMS bedanken wir uns bei euch für 8 Jahre Kommen, 8 Jahre Singen, 8 Jahre Mitmachen, 8 Jahre die Bühne Rocken, und wir geben deshalb gerne einen aus! Aber nicht nur einen: es gibt FREIBIER bis 1Uhr! Kommt in Abendgarderobe und zahlt nöscht an der Tür!! Monster Ronson wird eure Bühne betreuen!! DANKE EUCH GEILEN MONSTER!!




Donnerstag 29.11.12 LILLE MADS at MIXED NUTS with SVETLANA PALL MALL ab 22 Uhr

Coming to you all the way from Copenhagen to join forces with the karaoke powerhouse that is Svetlana, is the incredible LILLE MADS, who is going to deliver a fierce and furious hip-hop DJ Set alongside some nasty DANCEFLOOR KARAOKE with SVETI, beginning at 10pm! Mingle with some nice, queer, hip-hop and karaoke enthusiasts in our lounge and flirt with the hostness with the mostest on her chest!! The weekend starts early at Ronsons so come on over and get down!!


Freitag 30.11.12 SING LIVE ON STAGE with SCOTTY ab 22 Uhr

Get krunky, get funky! Get rid of your inhibitions - and your shirts! It's Friday, bitches! SCOTTY's your man and he's gonna make you DANCE! Get up onto the big stage again and again until the early morning!

***FR: Passwort für ermäßigten Eintritt (2,- Euro): "Ich hätte euch junger als 8 geschätzt!" (Dies gilt nicht für Bachlorettes, Junggesellenabschiede etc.)***


Samstag 1.12.12 8 JAHRE MONSTER RONSONS JUBILÄUM ab 22 Uhr

RONSONS CELEBRATES ITS EIGHTH BIRTHDAY!! Enjoy FREE BEER until 1am and SING LIVE on STAGE with MONSTER RONSON HIMSELF and his KJ TEAM! Cos' nothing goes hand in hand in hand better than BEER, SINGING, and one kick-ass MONSTER BASH!! 
COME IN STYLE and get in for FREE!! 


Sonntag 2.12.12 LIQUID BRUNCH with CRACKBABY JONES ab 21 Uhr

KILL YOUR HANGOVER!! CRACKBABY JONES is hosting Open Stage this Sunday at Liquid Brunch! And he's bringing his favorite drug: SINGING LIVE ON THE BIG STAGE! FREE ENTRY + HALF-PRICE BOXES until 10pm!!


 Montag 3.12.12. MultiSEXual BOXhopping with CRACKBABY JONES ab 22 Uhr

 How does Crackbaby manage to KJ all night on Sunday and come back on Monday to do it all over again? Well, we're not allowed to say it here, but his name might give you an idea ;) 3 euros gets you 10 KARAOKE BOXES - where you can hop from one to the next, and sing, sweat, scream, smoke, get naked, cry, take shots, or just mingle with friends - or complete strangers! Booze is a great social lubricant, but SINGING TOGETHER is even better! And if you bring some real lubricant with you, that's even better, because Mondays are especially gay days, and it gets pretty hot and steamy in those boxes!
 















Dienstag, 20. November 2012

Meet Bob.

Bob ist ein junger Amerikaner. Er kommt aus einem kleinen Vorort von D.C., und aus einem spießigen, bürgerlichen Familie. Nachdem er seinen Abschluss in Politikwissenschaft von der Georgetown University erhalten hat, wollte er mal sein Weltbild erweitern, hat also einen Flug nach Berlin gebucht.

Er kam am späten Nachmittag an, und nach einer fruchtlosen Suche im kalten November Regen durch Neukölln nach "schönen, alten" Sehenswürdigenkeiten, erkundigte er sich bei einem Einheimischen nach typischem, berliner Essen. Und obwohl er diese Frage stundenlang im Flugzeug einstudiert hat, konnte ihn derjenige gar nicht verstehen. Mit einem starken spanischen Akzent, antwortet er: "You mean Currywurst?"

Deprimiert, nass, zugefroren, verloren, und nun mit Sodbrennen im Magen, ging er in die Ubahn am Kotti. Er fragte jemanden am Bahnsteig wo Party ist, aber derjenige wurde plötzlich aggressiv und schrie etwas zurück, von dem Bob nur "verpiss" und "scheiß-" verstanden hat. "Er muss wahrscheinlich dringend mal", dachte Bob, und bemerkte wegen der Spritze in seiner Hand, dass es sich um einen Diabetiker handeln musste.

Er versuchte sein Glück richtung Warschauerstraße, da eine Gruppe als Kaninchen verkleideter Engländerinen auch in die Richtung fuhr. Er folgte ihnen bis zur Tür des Monster Ronsons, wo sie von einem genervten Türsteherin abgelehnt wurden. "I guess they don't like bunnies", murmelte der immer mehr verwirrte Bob vor sich hin. Als die Türsteherin ihm erklärte, dass es hier um singen geht, war Bob noch mehr verwirrt, dachte aber, "whatever, es kann nicht schlimmer sein als diese Currywurst", und ging rein.

Als er sich umschaute, lief ihm eine Transe mit riesen Brüsten entgegen, die ihm zuzwinkerte und sagte charmant "Hey babes". Er wurde rot, schluckte den Kloß im Hals runter, ging schnell zur Bar und sagte "Haben Sie etwas sehr stark, bitte?"

Fünf stunden, sechs Long Island Iced Teas, vier wilde Performances auf der Bühne (inkl. einer hammer geilen Interpretation von "November Rain"), zwei Stiptease an der Stange, eine erste sexuelle Erfahrung mit einem Mann, und eine Unmenge von Glitzer auf den Knien später, stolperte Bob aus dem Laden raus, und sagte der Türsteherin, "DANKE IHNEN!", zu dem sie sagte. "PULL!"




Donnerstag 22.11.12 CO.NG.OO at MIXED NUTS ab 22 Uhr

The weekend in Ronsons begins on Thursday! This Thursday, DJ CO.NG.OO is delivering a hot 'n' nasty hip-hop DJ set, mixed up with the hot 'n' nasty DANCEFLOOR KARAOKE with SVETLANA PALL MALL! The karaoke begins at 10pm, followed by a DJ / KJ mash-up, so you can shake yo ass and sing it off at the same time! Don't be shy - MIX YOUR NUTS!!


Freitag 23.11.12 SING LIVE ON STAGE with SVETLANA PALL MALL ab 22 Uhr

You didn't get enough of Svetlana on Thursday. We know, because we didn't either! But she's back again on Friday to tickle your karaoke-fancy all night long on the big stage! Launch into the Singing Galaxy with the sexiest captain ever! Beam, me up, Sveti!!

***FR/SA: Passwort für ermäßigten Eintritt (2,- Euro): "Whatever, es kann nicht schlimmer sein als diese Currywurst!" (Dies gilt nicht für Bachlorettes, Junggesellenabschiede etc.)***

Samstag 24.11.12 SING LIVE ON STAGE with MONSTER JONSON ab 22 Uhr

Jonson loves to hear you sing, but even more, he loves when you dance as well! Come by on Saturday and get on our newest KJs good side by getting down on the dancefloor, or the stripper pole! Sing on the big stage with him all night!!

***FR/SA: Passwort für ermäßigten Eintritt (2,- Euro): "Whatever, es kann nicht schlimmer sein als diese Currywurst!" (Dies gilt nicht für Bachlorettes, Junggesellenabschiede etc.)***

Sonntag 25.11.12 LIQUID BRUNCH mit dem KÄPT'N + SWING TANZ DJ SET ab 19:30

This Sunday starts with a swing! The Käpt'n's swing dance DJ set begins at 7:30 - and don't worry if you can't swing dance, the Käpt'n will show you how! OPEN STAGE KARAOKE begins at 9:30! FREE ENTRY + HALF-PRICE BOXES from 7 - 10pm !!


Montag 26.11.12 MultiSEXual BOXhopping with PUNKY LONGSTOCKING ab 22 Uhr

Hop, Sing, Hop, Swing, Hop, Fuck, Hop.... Shots!! PUNKY is in the lounge to meet your karaoke needs all night!!

3 euros gets you 10 KARAOKE BOXES - where you can hop from one to the next, and sing, sweat, scream, smoke, get naked, cry, take shots, or just mingle with friends - or complete strangers! Booze is a great social lubricant, but SINGING TOGETHER is even better! And if you bring some real lubricant with you, that's even better, because Mondays are especially gay days, and it gets pretty hot and steamy in those boxes!








Dienstag, 13. November 2012

OH WHAT A NIGHT!!!


OH WHAT A NIGHT!!! The Sparkleship completed its journey to infinity and back again, leaving a trail of glitter in its wake, and leaving the Ronsons literally TRANSFORMED. In fact, every sparkle soldier on board has been trailing glitter wherever he or she goes - at the bakery, in the kiosk next door, in a lover's sheets (and ass), or on the toilet seat - little souvenirs of our trip to a far-away galaxy. And it was STELLAR. THANK YOU to the SUPERMEN LOVERS, who rocked the stage with their bootylicious disco sounds! THANK YOU MASSIMILIANO PAGLIARA and JUAN OF A KIND for DJ Sets of galactic proportions! THANK YOU MC MONSTER RONSON for navigating the ship with brilliance and MC mastery! THANK YOU to the captains at the fluid station for refueling the rocket boosters all night! THANK YOU dancing sensation JACKIE WORD and last but not least, THANK YOU to our dazzling hostess MARISA SPARKLES for spreading the Word of Glitter once again!! ***MUCH LOVE TO ALL OF YOU SPARKLY PEOPLE***




UND ES GEHT WEITER! Komm die Woche vorbei um das Raumschiff Ronsons zu betrachten! Es gibt viele Neuigkeiten zu entdecken. Lass uns nicht nur einmal im Jahr ins All reisen... das Schiff steht ja jeden Abend zur Verfügung --- also lass uns durch stellare Karaoke Shows andere Welte schaffen! Bis bald und gute Reise!!


Donnerstag 15.11.12 DJ NEDALOT at MIXED NUTS ab 22 Uhr

If you've never experienced the magic that happens when NEDALOT (S&yM & Blackout Crew) joins forces with SVETLANA PALL MALL, this Thursday is your chance! Sveti's gonna kick off the evening with a KARAOKE WARM-UP at 22Uhr, followed by a Hip-Hop & Karaoke MASH-UP all night in the Lounge! Shake yr ass and sing it off at the same time! Get a free shot at the door to lubricate your vocal chords! Let's start the weekend early!!


Freitag 16.11.12 Sing Live on Stage with MONSTER JONSON ab 22 Uhr

Friday's a perfect chance to be one of the first to sing on the new and improved space-stage at Ronsons! It's looking FABULOUS - almost as fabulous as your KJ on Friday night! JONSON's gonna be your Captain at the KJ Pult (mission control) all night and he wants to see you SWEAT! So you better WERQ! WARP-SPEED, BITCHES!!

***FR/SA: Passwort für ermäßigten Eintritt (2,- Euro): "I need a rocket booster!" (Dies gilt nicht für Bachlorettes, Junggesellenabschiede etc.)***


Samstag 17.11.12 Sing Live on Stage with SCOTTY ab 22 Uhr

It's Saturday night -- the place to be is RONSONS, and you're man on the big stage is SCOTTY! If you're covered in sweat from singing and dancing, SCOTTY's not gonna dry you off... he's gonna make you sweat more until the early morning hours! Traut euch and get up on stage! Transport us to another time and place!

**Karaoke Killers sind heute leider ausgefallen!!**
 
***FR/SA: Passwort für ermäßigten Eintritt (2,- Euro): "I need a rocket booster!" (Dies gilt nicht für Bachlorettes, Junggesellenabschiede etc.)***


Sonntag 18.11.12 LIQUID BRUNCH with PUNKY LONGSTOCKING ab 21 Uhr

Kill your hangover at the Church of Karaoke on Sunday! Your high priestess PUNKY is back again this Sunday to kill you softly while your favorite bartender mixes up some delicious Bloody Mary's, or whatever *hair of the dog* your prefer! Kill your hangover and sing together! FREE ENTRY!


Montag 19.11.12 MultiSEXual BOXhopping with SVETLANA PALL MALL ab 22 Uhr

Sveti's in the lounge - y'all better get down! That bitch is mean, wanna hear you SCREAM! Sing in our Monday Lounge and box-hop til you drop! 3 euros gets you 10 KARAOKE BOXES - where you can hop from one to the next, and sing, sweat, scream, smoke, get naked, cry, take shots, or just mingle with friends - or complete strangers! Booze is a great social lubricant, but SINGING TOGETHER is even better! And if you bring some real lubricant with you, that's even better, because Mondays are especially gay days, and it gets pretty hot and steamy in those boxes!










Dienstag, 6. November 2012

PREPARE FOR TAKE-OFF!!!


You've seen them popping up all around Berlin in the past couple of weeks. They were beckoning you from the bathroom stall in Roses, vying for your attention from the beer-soaked bar top at Möbel Olfe. Staring back at you from the mirror when you stumbled into the bathroom the next morning. Winking at you from your boyfriend's cheek when you leaned in to kiss him. Had he been abducted by gay wizards? Was he blessed by a Drag Queen Disco Priestess? Was he cheating on you with a Leprechaun? 

No, babes. Don't get your spandex in a twist. These aren't little hints of the apocalypse. They're not the shiny remnants of a crashed UFO, either. They are miniature messengers from another world. Little sand-sized love letters sent back in time from the Aquarian Age. And if you listened carefully in the bathroom stall, or if you could see the signs through the green smoke in the Olfe, then you got the message, written in the Word of Glitter. It said:

PREPARE FOR TAKE-OFF: 10.11.12



Yes, Soldiers. That's right, Captains. THIS SATURDAY - 10.11.12 - it's that time again to board the Sparkleship - to be launched into a realm of Glistening Glamour, Sparkling Slutdom, Booty-Shaking Beat-Dropping, and Laser-Beam Love!

The Ronsons has been tranformed into a sparkle factory. We're standing so deep in glitter, we're practically breathing the stuff! And one by one, our crew members are arriving at the launchpad. In just a few days, your dazzling Hostess MARISA SPARKLES will check in, followed by the fantastic French Disco-Sensational SUPERMEN LOVERS. They'll join with the fabulous forces of DJs MASSIMILIANO PAGLIARA and JUAN OF A KIND, your MC MONSTER RONSON and the dancing phenomenon that is JACKIE WORD. By Saturday, the Ronsons will have completed it's full transformation into a Space Ship, so get ready for take-off!!

COME SPARKLING!! If you're in full Sparkle-Garb and INSIDE THE VESSEL before midnight, you can board for free!! If you're in costume and get on board after midnight, you pay reduced entry at the door!! DOORS OPEN AT 23:00 !!! 

See you in space! And remember: MORE IS MORE!!

******************

Donnerstag 8.11.12 THE SHREDDER at MIXED NUTS ab 22 Uhr

In the coming days before take-off, we've got a great line-up of PREGAMING PARTIES (vorglühen Feste!!) so you don't go stir-crazy while you're gluing sequins on your spandex. THE SHREDDER is going to wet your whistle (unter anderem) and get your feet in shape for some serious disco dancing with a smoltering DJ Set, mixed up with DANCEFLOOR KARAOKE delivered by the fierce and flirty SVETLANA PALL MALL!!

Get your free shot at the door, win prizes in the ACTING CONTEST, shake your ass and sing it off at the same time, get nasty playing dating games!


Freitag 9.11.12 (mini-) ALTERNATIVE KARAOKE with FENEK ab 22 Uhr

Our big stage will be closed on this evening, as it is undergoing a transformation for the SPARKLE ARMY on the following day (see above ;) but that won't stop FENEK from working her Karaoke Zauber all night -- in the Lounge! She's put together a list of ALTERNATIVE songs for you to sing, which you can find *HERE*! This is a night of Ohrwurmfreie Karaoke! Das heißt: no Britney, no Whitney from 22 - 1 Uhr!!

***FR/SA: Passwort für ermäßigten Eintritt (2,- Euro): "MORE IS MORE!!" (Dies gilt nicht für Bachlorettes, Junggesellenabschiede etc.)***

Samstag 10.11.12 JOIN THE SPARKLE ARMY!!!!!! ab 23 Uhr

You are cordially invited to another legendary night of dazzling on the dance floor under disco balls and laser beams!

That’s right- it’s that time again when Da General returns from NYC to make sure you pledge your devotion to the Word of Glitter!

-Experience the disco-tastic sounds of The Supermen Lovers LIVE! They are riding their spaceship all the way from Galaxy Francais just to make you shake your booty!

-Get lost in the vortex as you dance all night to an ultra- galactic DJ set from Massimiliano Pagliara!

This extra sparkling night kicks off with DJ Juan of a Kind who’ll get the party started so you can get down tonight!


Featuring special guest and dancing sensation Jackee Word, Master of Ceremonies Monster Ronson and your dazzling hostess Marisa Sparkles!

More is More so be sure to wear your sparkling best…. you might win a 50 Euro Bar Tab prize!


Plus , those in full glitter garb also get in free before midnight, if they're on board by midnight!!




Sonntag 11.11.12 LIQUID BRUNCH with PUNKY LONGSTOCKING ab 21 Uhr


Whether you're coming down lightly, coming down hard, or still in outer space, PUNKY is going ease your landing with the best remedy out there for Sunday Blues: SINGING. The big stage is OPEN! Coming back down to earth can be tough, so let's do it together! FREE ENTRY !


Montag 12.11.12 MultiSEXual BOXhopping with SCOTTY ab 22 Uhr

SCOTTY's your man on the KARAOKE DANCEFLOOR on Monday, so you might have to be careful not to slip on the glitter while singing and dancing! Whether you're rockin the mic alone, or singing a duet, or if Scotty's doing his amazing backup vocals -- there's no better way to spend a gloomy Monday!

3 euros gets you 10 KARAOKE BOXES - where you can hop from one to the next, and sing, sweat, scream, smoke, get naked, cry, take shots, or just mingle with friends - or complete strangers! Booze is a great social lubricant, but SINGING TOGETHER is even better! And if you bring some real lubricant with you, that's even better, because Mondays are especially gay days, and it gets pretty hot and steamy in those boxes!